Attempting to start over again...

So here I am at me sisters place with my gorgeous little nephew how the fuck could I ever consider killing myself when I've got him!
That's right 2 nights ago I took another overdose, shit loads of different pills and I was admitted to hospital, I threw up a hell of a lot and spent most of the night in and out of conscience. I was alone and I felt alone and it made me think a lot a bout life when I came out.

Life really is too short I need to get the fuck out of Hove. As for going back on the game I just can't do it, my head is so fucked up I think if I go back on it I'll just end up being even more messed up. I feel bad for messing around my agent but I didn't know I would feel like this!

So Chris got a new girlfriend and I guess like I should be mad but actually I'm surprisingly OK about it. Like if I think a bout it's a good thing because now I won't be going back to him. It's not like anything would have ever changed between me and Chris. He would have just carried on treating me like shit and I just would have let him cuz that's what I'm like. He's an alcoholic too and I don't know if he'll ever change, but hey in 2 weeks 5 days I'll never no cuz I'll be gone forever!!

Any how I've decided to throw myself back out there and go on a date. So maybe it will go some where and maybe it won't but at least I'm trying!!

Any how that's all for now!

Peace out
xx