Saturday, 7 August 2010

Saturday 7th August aka pride!

Wow so been a while since I have entertained you great people with my latest shinagans.
So I've been up and down I guess as usual. Recently though let me see...
3.30am I get a phone call from the one and only James!
After he broke my heart and moved to Wales he has the cheek to ring me up a 3.30am and ask for a shag because he's back in Brighton for a couple of days!
I couldn't actually believe that he could be that fucking insensitve.
Hey ho though it's not like me just to settle being treated like an object. So I decided to tell him I was pregnant and the baby was his. Ha ha you should have heard him he absolutly shit himself. Think I taught him a valuable lesson though!

Oh and then Danny emails me thru face book telling me he really wish he'd slept with me!
(Yeah that's right ladies and gentlemen the guy who used and abused me wishing myself dead).
So not only did he ask me I was "up for a shag" it turns out he has a girlfriend too. What a scumbag.

I'm begining to freak out a bout how shitty my taste in men is. Well that was of course until I decided enough was enough and no longer did I need a man and I can assure you I certainly didn't want one!
So I'm out last night with Amy and the girls and I get talking to this guy James (not a good name in the respect my last ex who was a total wanker had the same name but all the same I stayed and talked).
We talked for hours and he actually seems really nice. So I let my guard down a bit and agreed to go for lunch with him monday.
Big step for me to even considering trusting men again.
I suppose at the same time though I don't want to be bitter!
Any how so I've agreed to meet him but my eyes are wide open this time and I will not be repeating history. Afterall we all deep down history is a load of bollox and who actually learnt from it?
We all claim that we have but if we really have learnt from the past then how come we're still meeting and dating the same people but with just different names!?
This is beyond history this is a bout insecurities, pressure and our patterns. It doesn't matter how much we deny it every one has their patterns and until we learn to crack them we will continue to make the same mistakes over and over!

This is where I put my foot down!
I gave up drinking at 18 I destroyed that pattern back 3.5 years ago, so now I feel head strong enough to break my patterns with men!

I really should dedicate this blog to my father who really is beyond fucked up. When he pops the clogs the only this he'll ever have to show for his life is his messy patterns that he was to stubborn to even admit he has. So heres to you dad, for never being there when I needed you and continuosly letting me down year after year. This drinks on you!!!

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