Sunday, 13 March 2011

Feeling like death

So here it is day 2 of being "dumped", I hate that word but which ever way you look at it or how ever you say it, it still means the say thing so why try and sugar coat it.
Part of me feels numb, part of me feels angry and I don't know whether I want to scream or cry, but I know I am so fucking fed up with crying I just don't want to think any more.

It's a shame there isn't a degree in falling for MR Wrong really cuz if there was I'd be guarenteed to get 110%.
Part of me just wants to go and sleep with some one else to get L%*e out of my head. I think that is probabally a possability of getting over him, or maybe just go on the pull big time and meet someone else and then I can just forget all a bout him.
It's fucked up that I want to call him, yet I know it'll just make the whole thing worse in the long run! Even though it's tough, and it is really tough, I've deleted all the texts I had from him, deleted his number from my phone and call register. I've changed my profile picture on fb too. It's too painful to be a round things.
I haven't quite brought myself to delete his voicemails yet, and I will because I know it won't help to keep listening to them but I'm not ready to do that just yet, I'm not ready to destroy all the evidence of the relationship we had together. I will in time because it hurts and it'll make it worse.
I feel like a twat for planning so much together. We lasted just over a month. Whats wrong with me why do I have to keep dating shits!? I've been dating since I was 14 that's 8 years of dating shit men, I'm exausted when is it going to stop!?
Maybe it's really time to take a good long break from men for a while. All they ever end up doing in the end is making you feel shitty any how so whats the point!?
Any how I can't write any more cuz I think I might be going schitzos

Love to you all. My fabulous followers!!

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