Sunday, 4 September 2011

If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with ma friends, make it last forever friendship never ends ...

Oh my Goshie the spice gals rawwwwwwwwwwwwwk!!!
I'm not doing a very good job at my updates am I recently, terrible. I do apoligise, I've been ridiculosly busy!
So current mood, would be somewhere between frustrated and annoyed! I am frustrated because I have recently developed a crush for "mr across the road" and my Goshie he is hottie ;-) infact we actually had our first conversation the other day he called across the road "you alright" and I was like "yeah am fine thanks you"? and he was like "yeah all good"! This is a big step for me. Although after going out with the girls today (Andrea, Dani and Kate) I've made the decision to leave my number that I give to boys (as in not the number I use for long term people ie mates and family) and leave it on his windscreen wiper of his car. Accept there is one tiny problem... actually a great big fucking fat juicy one! He's not in... well at least his cars not there and his bedroom light isn't on and there's no chance he would be asleep now! I've been watching the house since 8pm! (Oh jesus I'm begining to sound like a bit of a phyco).
Look he lives oppisite OK I am NOT stalking ... I promise... Ok maybe just a little.. heehee.
Anyhow back to the point thats why I'm frustrated. I thought if I just leave my number and a kiss that way if he rings I can't answer cuz my other phone only works for texting and he'll just get o2 voicemail, as opposed to my increadably embarassing one about being a fucking princess (even though, lets face it I am... a princess that is) (not a fucking one.. I'm celibate STILL and jesus don't I just know it)!!! anyhow going off on abit of a tangent as always so I was going to wait for him to text me and ask if he's single and if he says no I won't text him again and he'll never even no it was me mwahahahahahaha! This would all be a hell of a lot simpler if I knew his fucking name, I could find him on fb. Or I dunno if I knew one of his mates names I could find him through that arghhhhhhhhhh!! So anyhows gotta do it the hard way...

I'm annoyed because my dad is an official wanker! Guess I sort of knew that anyhow. 3 months he ain't rung me and so I started thinking probabaly should get in touch, coming up for christmas and all that and my step mums obviously pissed off with me cuz she passed me straight over to my dad. Not sure what I'm meant to have done but hey she does like to hold grudges even worse than me... although it would be nice if I knew what I had done wrong. I know I ain't rung in a while but jesus they never rung me neither and I was the one that was homeless!
Anyhows so my dad clearly reluctently talked to me and I kind of wish I hadn't bothered... I won't in future, Jesus its really not worth the hassel just for about £30 worth of christmas presents. I don't have to prove nout to him, or her for that matter or anyone. Anyways so told me dad about college and stuff and all the things I'd been doing but got fuck all support and enthusiasm and now I remember why I stopped ringing in the 1st place. Fuck it, would have been so much easier if he just left when I was 4 and that was it, he's mad e it so much worse coming in and out of my life for 18 years, I wish I never knew him, it would have made it easier, I could have hated him that way. Instead I just resent him, I don't know whats worse!
Men aye MEH!

Rant over. There is a little bit more shit stuff and then I fill you with the good news... Well I had my wanking wisdom tooth number 2 out and I was completly off my face it was quite amusing.. until it wore off and I was in agony, never the less I'm gradually healing..
My sister (becca) can really be like the nasiset bitch ever sometimes, although she's away until tomo so making the most of lack of bossiness and the TV not being dominated, or the fact that she goes out of her way to get in the shower before me when she knows I've got to be somewhere by a ceratin time.
Emma (as in my supposed best mate) decided that I am a bitch because apparently I never support her even though it was always me going to see her and she always cancelled on me so not sure how I was meant to support her but anyhow its been weeks now, so she'll probabaly just go get married and have a bunch of kids but whatever her life not mine!

So on the plus side, I don't have any STD's so now just have one last HIV test left to have in a couple weeks and I'm all clear!
I haven't had a ciggerette or an alcoholic drink for months, and I am also still celibate...
I got onto my beauty therapy course at Lewes college, I got onto the princes Trsut team programme, I've taken up knitting, I'm still doing me voluntry work at Newhaven Fort, I've joined a drama group too :-D.
All optimistic things..
And I've joined a bi polar support group (1st thursday of every month). Its so good to not feel alone with me illness any more. Get this too I finally after 9 years have an appointment with a consultant phyciatrist HALLILULA!!!!!!
I finally might get a real diagnosis.
Good shit and I went to Princess Andrea's Oasis party friday night and won £50 gift vouchers to spend at Oasis wooop wooop :D and the lovley Dani gave me her free gift which was this totally wicked bracelet.
Man I love me mates!

xx mwah xx

Now heading off to write my christmas list so I can send it to Santa, mmm santa I've been a very good gal this year ;-) oh and got serious boy stalking to do!

Peace out me faithful followers!

love love love

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