Monday, 25 October 2010

Just another manic monday... 25th October.

So the weather has begun to to change, its fresh and very cold, the leaves have all started to drop and are all crispy, orangeie, reds, browns and yellows. It's gawjuss, and I think I can safely say autumn has arrived. Time to get out thick coats, gloves, hats and scarves as winter is on its way.
So here I am back in Brighton and not only is it the end of the season its also the end of an era.
The end of the dramas and the heart ache, the pain and the being left in suspence of what may happen next and whether I will make it through alive or not.
It's all finished.
I went away and I went back and revisited all the hurt right back from the beggining when I was a little Elle. I let my heart feel the same feelings they have been recently but back when that 1st feeling ever occoured. I let me heart break and I let myself cry into the arms of my RC lovers and to let myself get so cross that I was litrally shaking and sweating.
So I fought back I can't get back the past but I can change my future and other peoples future.

It seems like a long time ago that I was sectioned and put into a police cell for 7 hours, it seems like a long time ago that I had feelings for Chris.
The anger towards him has gone, the heart ache for him is fading.
I know there's still along way to go, but I just need to keep being persistant. I'm going to continue with RC, I'm going to get my phyciatric nurse and im going to start my support groups on sex and relationships addicts anoynamous.
I feel so much calmer and everything is going to be ok and finally I'm fighting back and I never thought I would this time!!

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