Sunday, 16 October 2011


Before I start I would just like to point out I have PMT from hell, I haven't slept basically for 7 days now, I'm having Tom withdrawal symptons (I'll explain who Tom is throughout) and my diet is 100% fucked up and I ain't seen swimming in like 2 weeks FUCKKKKKKKKKK! So if I seem more angry than usual well... thats why OK!
I just want to start by saying my family drive me nuts and I swear me mom always knows when I'm up to know good... I.e drinking and sneaking boys home! What the fuck how old am I? 16 again, I mean fuck off I'm 22 years old for crying out loud.
Whatevers we'll come to that in a bit...
So I've been away with college to Dartmoore in Devon and yes it was the worst week of my life! Staying in basically a squat, where there are spider webs every where, wood worm, ucompfy beds, toilets outside the bedrooms (yes you actually had to walk outside to get to the loo at 3am). Baring in mind that I am a princess and I'm used to my double outhapedic matrouse, electric blanket with all my princess dresses and high heels. I don't exactly think hiking around for a week is particulary up my street. Especially with a bunch of teenagers who can't cook or clean apparently (hmm maybe thats a bit unfair there was the bare minumum) still totally fucked me off!!
I'm pretty sure majority of the people I went away with arn't talking to me, but hey I didn't sign up for friendship, I signed up for the course!
I had a manic episode on thursday and friday. Not good, I attempted to slash up my wrists with a blunt knife (this wasn't intentional, there were no sharp knives) however the knife draw got hidden any how!
I also tried to OD.
Don't ask its bipolar, no control over it what so ever :-(.
I did however absail off a 100 foot bridge and swim in a freezing cold lake and climb a lot of very dangourous rocks, not to mention walking about a 20 million mile hike... Ok so I'm exaderating, but it wouldn't be me if I didn't!

So how would I bring in Tom into all of this without you all falling off ya chairs...
Fuck that those of you who know me should be shocked by nothing I say or do so here goes..
Tom is a 16 year old boy who goes to college with me and I slept in the same bed as him monday, tuesday and wednesday... what can I say I'm a horney bitch who just got my HIV/syphalis results back NEGATIVE!! RESULT!! No I didn't shag him, we kissed and touched though... I was good actually I didn't even let him finger me!
However I did get drunk friday... and saturday (yes I know not very good recovering alcoholic) but after my week I more than earnt it.
So sneaked Tom back to mine last night and shagged him!
He is so fucking sexy and young, is that really wrong? He don't look or act 16 so whatever! Besides he's shagged woman older than me before so whatever! OK I am really trying to justify the fact that I shagged a 16 year old boy today and yesterday... I can't help it he is propa lush!
We're meant to be together but he's 16 and I'm a mess so we'll see how long that lasts...
God its so frustrating, plus he's going inside on 15th December so won't get to see him for 6 months. Bless him though he ain't had the easiest of lives and he's so young, you know what that means ;-) I can mould him, when guys get to their 20's they're beyond "fixing" but Tom has so much potential and my God he's so sexy, he's like 6 foot, stunning blue eyes, amazing body, lucious smile and well fit bum ;-)!!!
I promise I'm not a perv... OK maybe just a bit.

So as the last line for todays title just because currently seeing Tom does not mean I should forget meself, as in still stick to everything I need to do and me mates ALWAYS come 1st no matter what!
You know now that I'm back I feel a lot better and I have a good feeling about 2012! Afterall this year ain't been too bad. I've only shagged Luke, Mike, Terry, Marc and Tom this year. Up to 37 now! Fuck actually 5 ain't really that good.
Fuck it the only person that has the right to judge me is me!
I'm living my life now no one elses.
On that note I must now go as always working to a tight schedule, must have a bath, exfoliate, shave me legs, chose me outfit for tomo, paint me nails and well thats enough, its already 9pm, I intend to be in bed before midnight tonight!

Peace out
love ya

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