Tuesday, 31 July 2012

We have the rain together, we survived the pain forever Oh, its good to be home again its good to be with my friends

I love that song, its by Pink and her daddy Jim Moore!
So its back to cold almost rainy old Brighton, you know the Brighton we know all so well, and our summer is over, wow after just 4 days or so. Guess I shouldn't really complain, afterall I've got more important things to think about and moan about that what the weathers doing, although that be said I hope it doesn't rain saturday because meant to be seeing Princess Andrea to see Greece and Dirty Dancing on the big screen down the beach.
Let me start by saying I have deleted facebook. I just can't deal with it right now, everytime I have a rant their always seems like there's someone their having ago at me, if you don't like it DE-FRIEND me or hide my news feed, its my fucking facebook I can write what I fucking well want. So fed up with always being bloody told off, I'm not a child anymore I wish people wouldn't treat me like one, so fucking patronising!
Anyhow thats that rant over with, I've de-activated so the people that get oh so easily offended will have to go find some one else to get offended by.
*and breath*
I would like to point out that I'm still single, and still not having any sex, become slightly obsessed with being skinny too. It never used to bother me so much but recently I've been really thinking about weight and food and being a little bit obssesive, I guess growing up with 2 skinny minis (aka anorexics) doesn't help. I've spent my life growing up always being told I'm fucking fat its hardly suprising I have a huge complex about it.
Having a sister thats 6 stone and a mother not far behind I mean its fucked up, on the plus side at least I have bigger tits and look more like a woman.
I've always had issues with food, I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to grow up with people that don't constantly obsess over food all the time, maybe I wouldn't always feel so depressed when I look in the mirror. I have been battling with my reflection for as long as I can remember and spend my whole life admiring other girls and thinking "if only I could have her tits, her stomache, her nose, her hair, her mouth" etc. Oh come on we've all done it at one time or another. Learning to be happy being my is something I really need to learn!
Beccas decided to move to Eastbourne with the cunt, not sure if I mentioned that in my last entry, bad bad move, shes going to be soooo lonley the cunts going to commute to london every day, but shes addamant to move out with him! I guess its one of those things that even though I really don't want her too she'll have to learn the hard way, I've had to on virtually everything, its tough to watch but I guess thats just life, nothing I can do about it!
On the plus side Jacs is talking about moving back to Brighton, man I hope so, be so cool her living close again, I can see her more and it'll be like the times when I lived in Newhaven. I know I shouldn't get too excited because it might not even happen but it'll be good to have all my family back around me again, makes me feel safer. Oh you know except me dad but just kind of forgotten about him really, I really haven't got time for his games anymore. I'm 23 now, not 12 anymore and he missed out on so much I think what the fuck is the point anyhow, like I always say it'll be his loss in the end, when I get to where I want to be he won't be able to take any credit for any of it because he hasn't played any part of it, misurable old git!
Got loads of fun things planned for august so thats cool. Got work meal tomorrow at La tascas whoop whoop. Going glamping next thursday, Kat and Dan coming down at one point in August, going out with Kelly, Amanda and Jackie from college, got Callums 5th birthday party, going to a ball too in august that'll be fun, before I know it'll be the wedding, am so excited about it now, looking forward to being able to eat again and see all me family and of course getting drunk!
I am barely drinking at the moment because of the calories in alcohol. If I want to be a small size 12 for the wedding then I have to be really dedicated to not drinking or eating excessivly!
Any how todays blog is shit because there's no fucking drama.
I have discovered that by joining a dating site (yes for the billionth time) that there are alot of ugly single guys in Brighton and no if you are fat, ugly, 45, divorced with 3 kids I do not want to come and suck your wrinkly cock, for fuck sake do fat guys like this really honestly think I would actually say yet its fucking disgusting and on that note I'm going to go vom. ha ha Nah I'm not actually but if this weight doesn't shift soon may have to be bulimic again. I was so skinny when I was bulemic!

Peace out lovers

No comments:

Post a Comment