So I got off the bus (or rather clomped down the stairs in me amazing boots), Stomped off in rage and as I walked down the hill heading towards mums house I pulled off my 1st boot and threw it at the nearest car window, then as I continued to stomp down in rage I pulled off the other boot and threw it as hard as I could not giving to fucks where it landed!
I then puled out my stupid bumpit and hair grips and just threw them, after that I tore off my gawjuss lepord print dress stamped on it and spat on it, then I dug all my nails into my cheeks and scrapped downwards so it looks like I've been scratched by a wild cat and I'm screaming as well with rage whilst doing all this. Then I see this guy and he's looking at me and I'm just so fucking mad I just go up to him and start punching him over and over again and kicking him and just screaming... Hmmm and I wondered why they sectioned me...
Ok ok that didn't happen, but in my head thats what I could see happening, and whats the point of writting what really happened. I sat on the bus thinking about all the guys that have used and abused me, Luke, Terry, Chris, Ian, Marc, Aaron etc and think about each one and I could feel tears prick up in my eyes, but crying in a public place (especially the bus where there's no where to hide) is embarrassing at the best of times, even more so when your done up to the nines, the risk of make up running everywhere and looking like you've been beaten up is not a good look!
So I waited till I got in, collapsed onto the sofa and cried.
Yes I am due on so my hormones are higher than usual but I'm through with it, I'm through with men! How the fuck are we confusing? Seriosuly WHAT THE FUCK DO MEN ACTUALLY WANT!? Will someone actually tell me please. Right I've been nice, I've spent hours getting ready, constantly looking immaculate, I've been a bitch to men, I've given them sex even when I'm not really in the mood or I'm tired, I've made paintings for men, I've been smart, I've been stupid, I've made them food and I'm talking good food, I've texted and rung alot, I've played it cool with the texting and ringing!
I'M FUCKING EXAUSTED WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK MEN WANT!?
Do you know what I don't even care anymore I'm actually done with men, fuck them, fuck the lot of them, they can go stick their fucking cocks up and fucking horses bum hole cuz I am fuckign done, done, done!
You know I'm too good for all this bollocks, I'm a smart girl and I'm fed up with guys consistantly throwing all my kindness back in my face so from now on its about me, myself and I... Course me mates and family too!
As far as men are concerned your all shit!
2.5 hours sunday night I spent getting ready and 2 tonight for what... "you look nice"!!!
NICE, NICE, FUCKING NICE, will someone tell me what I'm meant to do with nice!!!??? I am none other than cosmopolitan and I am fucking fed up with men (sorry boys) and their constant whinning, and talking talking talking...
"Oh hurry up", "whats taking you so long", blah dee blah dee blah right girls we've all heard it well heres a thought, unlike you disgusting little rats aka boys we actually like to take pride in out apperance and if we went out in jeans and trainers, without any make up or without brushing our hair, cleaning our teeth or putting on a nice scent we'd never hear the fucking end of it so heres an idea GO FUCK YOURSELVES, OR A HORSES BUM, BUT DEFINITLY NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen I'm really sorry if this offends anyone. I ain't aiming it at all men but you all know what I'm like by now...
love, love, love