Sunday 1 April 2012

I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know if you know what I mean...

Wow can you believe its virtually been a month since I last wrote.
I've been pretty shit at updating but I've been busy living life and thats definitly got to be a good thing!

So whats going on in the world? Whats going on in the crazy world of Princess Elle aye?
Well I think last time I wrote I'd just broke up with Joe (you remember the compulsive liar, heroin addict homeless guy).
So I turned 23 and decided it really was time to turn over a new leaf and in actual fact I've been sticking to it.
Ove the last month I've begun to see that I may not be the smartest, skinniest, prettiest or even the nicest of girls out there, but as the tittle says "I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know if you know what I mean".
I've always been slightly oblivious to whats going on in the world but come on would I be me if I was up to date on all the depressing things that happen in the world. I ain't an idiot, I know what goes on in the world but I just chose to be naive to it because it scares the shit out of me.

I will share the fact that according to the metro (which admitidly is not the most reliable source) however they say that babies born this year as in 2012 will not be able to retire till they're in their 80's FUCK ME that is SHOCKING! Whos with me on blowing up the house of Parliment??

So I'm continuing to volunteer in the charity shop, along with swimming twice a week, studying (and passing may I just add) I'm now officially qualified in facials so you know who to come to if you want a freebee!
I'm still knitting too I've made a bag now and I'm making a scarf and a patch work blanket, its nice to have a few projects on the go!

Ohhhh I bought the most amazing laptop recently its PINK!! (obviously)!
Bought some UGGs too recently whoop whoop love it!!!
So lets get to talking about the nitty gritty the thing I know you all love to hear about... my relationships with men and my relationship with alcohol!
So on the alcohol front thats genrally ok I definitly have a much better and healthier relationship with drink than I ever have in my life, I'm not persistantly avoiding altogether but I'm not exceeding it either so finally after 23 years I think I can almost say I've hit the jackpot!

So my relationships with men... Well I wish I could say I've resolved it with me dad, although I haven't so for the time being I'm going to leave that well alone until I figure it out, and who knows maybe I never will!!

So I've recently in the last few weeks been seeing one guy... at least I think I'm seeing him... no I'm almost certain we're seeing each other.. not sure how exsclusive we are yet but we'll see. So he's 22 next month (yes I am a cugar DEAL WITH IT)!!! He's a chef in the army, he doesn't smoke, or take drugs, and he has a home, so already he has more going for him than... everyone I've ever been with..
He's a really decent guy from what I've seen of him so far. It feels totally easy, like it doesn't feel difficult, I don't obsess and I don't constantly ring him 24/7 ... infact I barley ring him, we text and we see each other but there isn't any pressure there.
I trust him and am not freaking out about what he's doing when he isn't with me and yeah just feels really nice.
I think he likes me, he stayed over last night and I kissed him for the 1st time...
.. I know what your thinking, but sorry to disapoint you but the answer is no! We didn't sleep together, I'm still on lent and I want to take it really slow!
I think he's good for me, I don't act like "crazy Elle" when I'm with him, (by crazy Elle I mean the Elle that obsesses, slash my wrists, OD, cry all the time etc etc ..)
This quite possibly is the healthist relationship I've had with a man EVER! I haven't told him about the past bollocks either, finally realising its ok to let go of the past and he doesn't need to know about it as I'm not who I was back then...
It is quite hard learning to be able to have a healthy relationship because you automatically lose that butterfly feeling in your stomache which you convince yourself is excitment but is actually anxiety and fear. I know that, am reading "woman who love too much" for the 2nd time and this time round I'm really getting it, I was determined to get well and now I actually am.
This is the year its all going to happen for me, it already is pretty much, as soon as I get a job earning enough I'm moving out, I'm going on holiday this year :) I bought a laptop which is completly amazing, am going to get my tattoo this year too.
Once 'Pate (the nutty teacher guy) watch sells on ebay (hopefully will sell for at least £80) then I'll have £120 for me tattoo and I will get it done this year, going to be amazing, me nan is going to love it... (am getting ivy with little flowers tattooed around my ankle, cuz me nans names Ivy and I love her to pieces and it'll be like she'll be apart of my forever even once she's passed away) Me nans 95 by the way shes amazing and one of the funniest people I know bless her!

...

So there we have it for the first time in my whole life time of blogging I've finally written an optimistic blog! Princess Elle is definitly well on the road to recovery this time and it feels great.
I must say though if it wasn't for all my fabulous friendships I'm not sure I would have made it!

Love you guys

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