Thursday, 1 July 2010


OK how the fuck did it get to the first of July already, man this is NOT cool. Before long I'm going to be turning 22 and I still have done virtually nothing with my life, God damn it.
So whats going on it the life of Elle?? Well I ended up going out Monday night with the fabulous Amy, we ended up at this Brazilian night. It was actually really quite cool and lucky Amy got hit on by this French dwarf, it was fucking hilerious. Every time we thought we'd lost him, he appeared again ... FREAK!
Martin who's name we've named to Nitram (see if you can work it out) has decided to get back in touch with me. He told me he was in love with me (this is the point I run away screaming). Seriously what the fuck, I haven't even met this guy before. Oh and it gets better, now he wants me to go and spend the weekend at his next weekend and he said he'd spoil me rotton.
Well there's just a few things wrong with that...
1) I've never met him before- so he could be a total minger/phyco.
2) When men say "spoil you" they mean spending the whole weekend in bed and I'm really not in the mood for a weekend full of crap sex.
3) I have serious issues going to the toilet in guys houses... you get what I mean...
4) I still haven't been tested since Wayne the pain, Greggo, Weggo or ash the trash yet.
5) I'd have to drag all my stuff to his house, which involves planning outfits. Mish or what
6) Well I can't really think of a 6 but maybe I just can't be arsed to waste yet another entire weekend.
However do feel free to comment!....
Oh yes how could i forget just as i was thinking life couldn't get much worse Jay.. yes Jay as in the man I'm "supposedly" in love with decides to change bus drivers at London Road to drive the fuckign bus I'm on oh fabulous. I was just getting over him as well, Humph, attempting to anyhow. Why does he have to be so damn fucking cute aye? And another thing why do I have to be so damn Hetrasexual???!!!!
Oh yes I had an appiphany this morning I decided I was going to quit smoking, that was until I went to the stupid housing benifit people today and I ended up speaking to some retarded gay prick who I would have happily punched, now I see why they have those glass panel things in front of their fucking faces. Shame they ain't blacked out, that way I wouldn't have to look at his ugly face!
Fuck this I need a ciggerette!!

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