For any of you who didn't get that yes I was being sarcastic!
So here I am sitting in Jacqui's front room and giving all my fabulous fans an update of the fabulous life of yours truly.
So I survived Christmas with the family (only just mind you).
Seriously am in need of a great big joint before I go any more crazier than I already am (although I do think that may be slightly impossible).
Nicks left for his travels, and Jacqui is walking around in a fog as if it's the end of the world, I love the fact that I am not the only drama queen in the family.
Although apparently I'm the selfish one, well as much as I do feel for her at least she's got a man, what have I got apart from silly little good for nothing boys texting me and severely irritating the fuck out of me.
Hey whats happened to the font, God damn fucking computers I did not tell it to change the font once again technology trying to piss me off again.
I cannot believe it has been almost 5 weeks since I have had any type of sexual contact with a man, I'm going slightly insane, although I am trying to stick to my sex and love addicts programme I'm just praying my 30 days are almost over so I can change my bottom lines and at least get my good old vibrators out I am in serious need of an orgasm its no wonder I'm grumpy all the time, never mind only a few weeks left now.
I have to be honest though, it does work, I've started to have a new found respect for myself and I'm not settling for any one who just wants to get into my pants. I'm looking for more than that cuz I can see that I am worth more than that!
Turns out Chris (yes the twat that was supposedly my ex, although more like a big mistake would be slightly more appropriate), he only went and got the girl who he left me for pregnant and now has left her and is planning another suicide attempt. Pathetic! What a twat actually that's just plain cuntish hey ho I'm well done with him and his bent knob, if I wanted to make love to a banana I'd go to the supermarket and buy one, at least it wouldn't answer back and I'd be guaranteed to orgasm! Although sounds kind of messy so I think I'll just stick to me toys. majorly need to buy some more, 2 just isn't enough any more.
Any how I'll be sure to fill you in on some more exciting news providing my life does get more exciting, it hasn't been this dull... well EVER! Mann this is so shit!
Well HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR! 2010 can kiss my ass cuz I'm done with it, roll on 2011 and I'll show ya how it's really done, no more mingers, no more druggies, no more alcoholics, no more crap shags and lots of nice good looking fit men with nice bodies and good jobs and who kiss the ground I walk on, I know he's out there and he's been looking in all the wrong places but he'll find me, you'll see!
Oh and in the mean time I think I'll concentrate on doing a hair and beauty course combined with a sex shop!
Good plan!
Peace out my faithful followers
Love love love
Princess Elle
xxxx
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