and there we have it another failed relationship!
What can I say I just I feel like.. ok how to I put this without sounding like a total bitch?
...I am a total bitch so fuck it. You know like when people have an okish job and a flat or whatever and they're say in their early 20s and they plan to have a child with their "long term boyfriend"/ fiance! Well I always feel like there's got to be more to life than just having an Okish job and a bunch of kids. Well thats kind of how I feel with guys. I just feel like there's got to be more to men than what there is.
So your wondering why me and Beau broke up? I'll tel you why ...
I haven't met anyone as big as a wind up merchant as Beau since I left school. He drove me mad. It just was like this constant obsession to see how far he could push me before I either cried, wanted to kill him or hit the bottle. Not exactly a great start to a healthy relationship.
It wasn't just that I guess I felt like he was completly incapable of being sensitve towards my feelings. Using what I'd told him against me. (Yes OK so maybe I shouldn't tell guys everything so quickly but thats no exscuse). For example going on and on about how many people I'd slept with like it was some sort of crazy fixation or something past is past. Let it go. His paranoia that I was going to cheat on him (OK so in the past I may have cheated but 1st time I was 16 hello and 2nd time was Chris so need I say any more). Oh and he was always on at me for supposedly looking at girls...
He used me once upon a time being a hooker against me, which actually is none of his damn business and no one has a right to judge me!
NO ONE!!!
When I started getting really bad anxiety about my ex Diesel who killed himself instead of trying to be understanding he just kept telling me to snap out of it!
I really can't be bothered to go on. You get the jist of it..
Any how I left the hotel at 5.30am and sat in Mac Donalds till 8am when the bus came to take me back to Brighton. He did offer to let me stay until the 1st bus came after he'd pushed me well over my limit, by this point I was so frustrated, pissed off and bitter the idea of spending another minute with him felt like torture and for all of you know me and know how much I despise Mac Donalds must understand how bad it would have been for me to chose sitting in there for 2.5 hours as oppossed to spend another minute with him.
So am I sad? To be honest I'm kind of relieved he wasn't making me happy, I certainly wasn't making him happy and all we did was argue!
Thinking about becoming a swinger. Getting a vagazzle, can't wait for me celabacy to be over! I think I got about 6 more weeks! Thank fuck!
Any how I'm exauasted so should proabablly go, a night of sex in the city tonight me thinks...
xx
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Sunday, 24 July 2011
A whole new world...
Wow 11 days of no show is an extremly long time in the world of princess Elle, since I've last written Becca and Iain have had about ten thousand arguments, I've been dumped once, asked out twice, Amy Winehouse has died, 91 people in Norway got shot by some nutter, I am actually going to do my beauty therapy course, I haven't smoked in 7 weeks tomo, I haven't drunk in 6 weeks thursday, I've been celibate 5 weeks today and I am no longer single, get me in one week and 4 days mental or what...
So I have been running around like a blue arsed fly; swimming, getting to appointments, working, doing me co-counselling and attempting to see mates but sometimes wondering where the hours in the day have gone.
So your wondering who dumped me? Well that was Craig, I wouldn't really have called him my boyfriend just another prick to add to the list really, besides he wasn't even that cute, I'm better!
Any how so you want to know who me man is yes?
Well he's called Beau (for the weirdos out there who don't know it means beautiful in french). And bless him he really is.
I met him online begrugingly because I was coming to litrally the very end of my teather with men until I met Beau!
He lives in Ascott and I have absolutly no idea where that is because my geography is appauling but according to him it's about an hour and half drive away!
So he came to pick me up friday evening and we booked into the Lansdowne Place hotel which was totally cosmopolitan! I'd previously made reservations at La tascas so we got a taxi there and the food was amazing as ever, fuck I love food too much for this stupid diet bullshit (although I am still going to aim towards being a skinny mini).
We went back to the hotel for cocktails after dinner was a totally amazing night...
Yeah I know what your questioning but sorry to disapoint you but read up... 5 WEEKS CELIBATE... no I didn't slip up I still haven't had sex, trust me come september the wait will be well worth it!
So acception of a few hiccups all in all it was a lovely weekend I didn't want Beau to leave but I know that good things come to those who wait and besides I've only got to wait 6 more days before I see him again and if you saw how packed my diary is you'll understand how one week roles into the next week without a blink of an eye seriously before I know it I'm going to be 40 years old with bunions the size of Africa .. (actually they already are the size of Africa) the size of Jupiter and a great big bum and tits that reach so low even the devil can have a fucking grope, fuck me thats really depressing!
Oh and one more thing please don't tell me I'm putting all my eggs into one basket because for one I'm fed up with expressions, for two that expressions is completly over rated and for 3 I don't have any eggs so blurgh!
I love the way everytime I seem to have good news my family can't just be like "do you know what Elle that's really good" instead they have to start ranting on about some shit and then I just want to scratch their eyes out!
It would just be nice if for once every one could just support me on my decision and trust my judgment (this isn't actually refereing to my new man, but thats probabally why I haven't told mum yet cuz I can already hear her voice ringing in my ear) I was actually refering to my courses that I start in a month and a week! Wow don't you just love being supported!
Any how thats all for now I'm tired and severly craving chocolate, ta ta for now!
Peace and love to my faithful followers
xxxxxxxxxx
So I have been running around like a blue arsed fly; swimming, getting to appointments, working, doing me co-counselling and attempting to see mates but sometimes wondering where the hours in the day have gone.
So your wondering who dumped me? Well that was Craig, I wouldn't really have called him my boyfriend just another prick to add to the list really, besides he wasn't even that cute, I'm better!
Any how so you want to know who me man is yes?
Well he's called Beau (for the weirdos out there who don't know it means beautiful in french). And bless him he really is.
I met him online begrugingly because I was coming to litrally the very end of my teather with men until I met Beau!
He lives in Ascott and I have absolutly no idea where that is because my geography is appauling but according to him it's about an hour and half drive away!
So he came to pick me up friday evening and we booked into the Lansdowne Place hotel which was totally cosmopolitan! I'd previously made reservations at La tascas so we got a taxi there and the food was amazing as ever, fuck I love food too much for this stupid diet bullshit (although I am still going to aim towards being a skinny mini).
We went back to the hotel for cocktails after dinner was a totally amazing night...
Yeah I know what your questioning but sorry to disapoint you but read up... 5 WEEKS CELIBATE... no I didn't slip up I still haven't had sex, trust me come september the wait will be well worth it!
So acception of a few hiccups all in all it was a lovely weekend I didn't want Beau to leave but I know that good things come to those who wait and besides I've only got to wait 6 more days before I see him again and if you saw how packed my diary is you'll understand how one week roles into the next week without a blink of an eye seriously before I know it I'm going to be 40 years old with bunions the size of Africa .. (actually they already are the size of Africa) the size of Jupiter and a great big bum and tits that reach so low even the devil can have a fucking grope, fuck me thats really depressing!
Oh and one more thing please don't tell me I'm putting all my eggs into one basket because for one I'm fed up with expressions, for two that expressions is completly over rated and for 3 I don't have any eggs so blurgh!
I love the way everytime I seem to have good news my family can't just be like "do you know what Elle that's really good" instead they have to start ranting on about some shit and then I just want to scratch their eyes out!
It would just be nice if for once every one could just support me on my decision and trust my judgment (this isn't actually refereing to my new man, but thats probabally why I haven't told mum yet cuz I can already hear her voice ringing in my ear) I was actually refering to my courses that I start in a month and a week! Wow don't you just love being supported!
Any how thats all for now I'm tired and severly craving chocolate, ta ta for now!
Peace and love to my faithful followers
xxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Manic lows and a whole lot of pain..
I crashed last night. It wasn't just one thing. I had meant to be going out with Jess but she had to work and re aranged it for tonight instead. Which meant I was here (at mums) I don't want to be here at all. After mun decided she's going to kick me out I don't want to be around her.
Anyhows it's been 5 weeks and 2 days without a ciggerette, 3 weeks and 6 days sober and 2 weeks 3 days celibate. I can assure you it ain't easy and all I do is eat. My eatings sort of out of control at the moment. Its seems that I can't stop.
I've got loads of thigns to do today and the idea of doing them makes me feel shaken to the bone. I sslashed up my arm last night and today I feel guilty ick and tired!
I feel the agraphobia kicking in which means I definitly need to do what I had planned for today because otherwise it'll get worse.
I'm meant to be going for a swim in the next half hour before it gets busy, then to come back here for abit and then be in Newhaven for 3pm for Tia Chi till 5pm and then back here (to mums) to then meet Jess and 8pm. That involves getting 8 buses today.. that is not cool.
But hey if I just take one step at a time. Like make it to the pool and then getting to newhaven, I just need to stop thinking so flippin' much.
I feel like my anxiety is through the roof!!
So what else is going on? What besides that fact that I'm going to be homeless??
Well I ended things with Jimmy... actually to be honest I didn't I just didn't contact him again, but then he didn't contact me either so there you go..
I dunno there was no chemistry and ... fuck have I already said all this in my last blog???
Okies whatever...
So I've started seeing this guy Craig, I ain't giving too much away but I do really like him and I'm praying that I don't fuck this one up and I'm terified that I'm going to, just for once please send some luck my way I'll be good forever I promise.
I'm sorry for slashing up me arms, its just sometimes it just gets too much...
Okies I should probablly go.
I am in agony my tooth still hurts, I've got a mouth ulcer the size of jupiter and the antibiotics has given me thrush from hell OH JOYS!!!
Peace out
xxx
Anyhows it's been 5 weeks and 2 days without a ciggerette, 3 weeks and 6 days sober and 2 weeks 3 days celibate. I can assure you it ain't easy and all I do is eat. My eatings sort of out of control at the moment. Its seems that I can't stop.
I've got loads of thigns to do today and the idea of doing them makes me feel shaken to the bone. I sslashed up my arm last night and today I feel guilty ick and tired!
I feel the agraphobia kicking in which means I definitly need to do what I had planned for today because otherwise it'll get worse.
I'm meant to be going for a swim in the next half hour before it gets busy, then to come back here for abit and then be in Newhaven for 3pm for Tia Chi till 5pm and then back here (to mums) to then meet Jess and 8pm. That involves getting 8 buses today.. that is not cool.
But hey if I just take one step at a time. Like make it to the pool and then getting to newhaven, I just need to stop thinking so flippin' much.
I feel like my anxiety is through the roof!!
So what else is going on? What besides that fact that I'm going to be homeless??
Well I ended things with Jimmy... actually to be honest I didn't I just didn't contact him again, but then he didn't contact me either so there you go..
I dunno there was no chemistry and ... fuck have I already said all this in my last blog???
Okies whatever...
So I've started seeing this guy Craig, I ain't giving too much away but I do really like him and I'm praying that I don't fuck this one up and I'm terified that I'm going to, just for once please send some luck my way I'll be good forever I promise.
I'm sorry for slashing up me arms, its just sometimes it just gets too much...
Okies I should probablly go.
I am in agony my tooth still hurts, I've got a mouth ulcer the size of jupiter and the antibiotics has given me thrush from hell OH JOYS!!!
Peace out
xxx
Thursday, 7 July 2011
WOW MEN ARE UNBELIEVABLY FUCKED UP!!!
So I got off the bus (or rather clomped down the stairs in me amazing boots), Stomped off in rage and as I walked down the hill heading towards mums house I pulled off my 1st boot and threw it at the nearest car window, then as I continued to stomp down in rage I pulled off the other boot and threw it as hard as I could not giving to fucks where it landed!
I then puled out my stupid bumpit and hair grips and just threw them, after that I tore off my gawjuss lepord print dress stamped on it and spat on it, then I dug all my nails into my cheeks and scrapped downwards so it looks like I've been scratched by a wild cat and I'm screaming as well with rage whilst doing all this. Then I see this guy and he's looking at me and I'm just so fucking mad I just go up to him and start punching him over and over again and kicking him and just screaming... Hmmm and I wondered why they sectioned me...
Ok ok that didn't happen, but in my head thats what I could see happening, and whats the point of writting what really happened. I sat on the bus thinking about all the guys that have used and abused me, Luke, Terry, Chris, Ian, Marc, Aaron etc and think about each one and I could feel tears prick up in my eyes, but crying in a public place (especially the bus where there's no where to hide) is embarrassing at the best of times, even more so when your done up to the nines, the risk of make up running everywhere and looking like you've been beaten up is not a good look!
So I waited till I got in, collapsed onto the sofa and cried.
Yes I am due on so my hormones are higher than usual but I'm through with it, I'm through with men! How the fuck are we confusing? Seriosuly WHAT THE FUCK DO MEN ACTUALLY WANT!? Will someone actually tell me please. Right I've been nice, I've spent hours getting ready, constantly looking immaculate, I've been a bitch to men, I've given them sex even when I'm not really in the mood or I'm tired, I've made paintings for men, I've been smart, I've been stupid, I've made them food and I'm talking good food, I've texted and rung alot, I've played it cool with the texting and ringing!
I'M FUCKING EXAUSTED WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK MEN WANT!?
Do you know what I don't even care anymore I'm actually done with men, fuck them, fuck the lot of them, they can go stick their fucking cocks up and fucking horses bum hole cuz I am fuckign done, done, done!
You know I'm too good for all this bollocks, I'm a smart girl and I'm fed up with guys consistantly throwing all my kindness back in my face so from now on its about me, myself and I... Course me mates and family too!
As far as men are concerned your all shit!
2.5 hours sunday night I spent getting ready and 2 tonight for what... "you look nice"!!!
NICE, NICE, FUCKING NICE, will someone tell me what I'm meant to do with nice!!!??? I am none other than cosmopolitan and I am fucking fed up with men (sorry boys) and their constant whinning, and talking talking talking...
"Oh hurry up", "whats taking you so long", blah dee blah dee blah right girls we've all heard it well heres a thought, unlike you disgusting little rats aka boys we actually like to take pride in out apperance and if we went out in jeans and trainers, without any make up or without brushing our hair, cleaning our teeth or putting on a nice scent we'd never hear the fucking end of it so heres an idea GO FUCK YOURSELVES, OR A HORSES BUM, BUT DEFINITLY NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen I'm really sorry if this offends anyone. I ain't aiming it at all men but you all know what I'm like by now...
Peace out
love, love, love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I then puled out my stupid bumpit and hair grips and just threw them, after that I tore off my gawjuss lepord print dress stamped on it and spat on it, then I dug all my nails into my cheeks and scrapped downwards so it looks like I've been scratched by a wild cat and I'm screaming as well with rage whilst doing all this. Then I see this guy and he's looking at me and I'm just so fucking mad I just go up to him and start punching him over and over again and kicking him and just screaming... Hmmm and I wondered why they sectioned me...
Ok ok that didn't happen, but in my head thats what I could see happening, and whats the point of writting what really happened. I sat on the bus thinking about all the guys that have used and abused me, Luke, Terry, Chris, Ian, Marc, Aaron etc and think about each one and I could feel tears prick up in my eyes, but crying in a public place (especially the bus where there's no where to hide) is embarrassing at the best of times, even more so when your done up to the nines, the risk of make up running everywhere and looking like you've been beaten up is not a good look!
So I waited till I got in, collapsed onto the sofa and cried.
Yes I am due on so my hormones are higher than usual but I'm through with it, I'm through with men! How the fuck are we confusing? Seriosuly WHAT THE FUCK DO MEN ACTUALLY WANT!? Will someone actually tell me please. Right I've been nice, I've spent hours getting ready, constantly looking immaculate, I've been a bitch to men, I've given them sex even when I'm not really in the mood or I'm tired, I've made paintings for men, I've been smart, I've been stupid, I've made them food and I'm talking good food, I've texted and rung alot, I've played it cool with the texting and ringing!
I'M FUCKING EXAUSTED WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK MEN WANT!?
Do you know what I don't even care anymore I'm actually done with men, fuck them, fuck the lot of them, they can go stick their fucking cocks up and fucking horses bum hole cuz I am fuckign done, done, done!
You know I'm too good for all this bollocks, I'm a smart girl and I'm fed up with guys consistantly throwing all my kindness back in my face so from now on its about me, myself and I... Course me mates and family too!
As far as men are concerned your all shit!
2.5 hours sunday night I spent getting ready and 2 tonight for what... "you look nice"!!!
NICE, NICE, FUCKING NICE, will someone tell me what I'm meant to do with nice!!!??? I am none other than cosmopolitan and I am fucking fed up with men (sorry boys) and their constant whinning, and talking talking talking...
"Oh hurry up", "whats taking you so long", blah dee blah dee blah right girls we've all heard it well heres a thought, unlike you disgusting little rats aka boys we actually like to take pride in out apperance and if we went out in jeans and trainers, without any make up or without brushing our hair, cleaning our teeth or putting on a nice scent we'd never hear the fucking end of it so heres an idea GO FUCK YOURSELVES, OR A HORSES BUM, BUT DEFINITLY NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen I'm really sorry if this offends anyone. I ain't aiming it at all men but you all know what I'm like by now...
Peace out
love, love, love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Friday, 1 July 2011
He had it coming, he had it coming he only had himself to blame..
Man why is everyone so fucked up about sex?
Seriously, at 11.30am on the show "this morning" they're already talking about sex I mean jesus christ this is not what I want to wake up to.
I know what you might be thinking, my sister (becca) said to me yesterday "jesus Elle not everyone has sex on the brain". God damn it I do have sex on the brain. Its hardly a suprise though every where I look its basically in my face!!
So last night I was pretty wasted, I only had 3 double vodkas and cokes, which is I suppose an eqivalant to 6 vodka and cokes and for someone who doesn't drink is quite alot.
Anyhow I've decided thats it now. Time to get sober again, I can't keep doing this! I keep just going from my addiction to sex, then back to m addiction of alcohol and both together is just a great big no go area!!
It feels like if I can't get my sex fix then I go get my fix from drink.
So heres an idea, give up drinking and give up sex.
It sounds hard but wasn't it me who said I want to live a life without addiction?
So heres my plan ...
I've gone 3.5 years without a sip of alcohol and then another 6 months so I can do it, I've proved to myself I can do it!
Obviously I'm not going to never have sex again so heres my plan on the sex front.
I last had sex sunday so from sunday I need to count 3 months (or 12 weeks) and then I can go get a check up at the clinic to for an HIV test from when I slept with Terry and from the guy I shagged sunday and a screen test from the guy I slept with sunday. So basically my plan is to not have sex until that date!
For the average single person this would be relativly easy, me being the not average girl its going to prove extremly difficult especially if I meet someone. But then if I do meet someone if they like me enough they'll wait and if not they ain't worth it any how.
I've gone 7 months before so 3 months or just under) should be a doddle!!
Okies there we have it plan...
Think I might see if I can start over with Craig, go on a date (and no going to Mac donalds at 2am does not count as a date).
So yeah start again give it ago before just writting it off.
Any how 1.30pm... Need to be in Brighton for 3pm and still in my pjs so should probabally leave now.
Staying at Jakes tonight as my mother is kindly kicking me out for the weekend as my auntie's down oh joys.
Meh !!!!!!!
Peace out
xx
Seriously, at 11.30am on the show "this morning" they're already talking about sex I mean jesus christ this is not what I want to wake up to.
I know what you might be thinking, my sister (becca) said to me yesterday "jesus Elle not everyone has sex on the brain". God damn it I do have sex on the brain. Its hardly a suprise though every where I look its basically in my face!!
So last night I was pretty wasted, I only had 3 double vodkas and cokes, which is I suppose an eqivalant to 6 vodka and cokes and for someone who doesn't drink is quite alot.
Anyhow I've decided thats it now. Time to get sober again, I can't keep doing this! I keep just going from my addiction to sex, then back to m addiction of alcohol and both together is just a great big no go area!!
It feels like if I can't get my sex fix then I go get my fix from drink.
So heres an idea, give up drinking and give up sex.
It sounds hard but wasn't it me who said I want to live a life without addiction?
So heres my plan ...
I've gone 3.5 years without a sip of alcohol and then another 6 months so I can do it, I've proved to myself I can do it!
Obviously I'm not going to never have sex again so heres my plan on the sex front.
I last had sex sunday so from sunday I need to count 3 months (or 12 weeks) and then I can go get a check up at the clinic to for an HIV test from when I slept with Terry and from the guy I shagged sunday and a screen test from the guy I slept with sunday. So basically my plan is to not have sex until that date!
For the average single person this would be relativly easy, me being the not average girl its going to prove extremly difficult especially if I meet someone. But then if I do meet someone if they like me enough they'll wait and if not they ain't worth it any how.
I've gone 7 months before so 3 months or just under) should be a doddle!!
Okies there we have it plan...
Think I might see if I can start over with Craig, go on a date (and no going to Mac donalds at 2am does not count as a date).
So yeah start again give it ago before just writting it off.
Any how 1.30pm... Need to be in Brighton for 3pm and still in my pjs so should probabally leave now.
Staying at Jakes tonight as my mother is kindly kicking me out for the weekend as my auntie's down oh joys.
Meh !!!!!!!
Peace out
xx
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Crumbelling down...
My mood right now... Well this is me I never just feel one feeling at a time like most people. I'm feeling completly restless, slightly angry (ok really angry like I want to stamp on someones head). I guess there is a little bit of sadness there too maybe, along with frustration and something like a hole, like a sort of emptiness.
I just want to say I'm not a vileont nutcase, I write this blog merley for myself to let off steam. Sometimes it can be really hard to keep it all locked up, I know what I write sometimes can be shocking, and subtelty was never my strong point!
Any how so met up with Aaron last night. My suspicions we're definitly conformed he's a right little prick. He kept trying (sorry not trying actually doing) putting his hand up my skirt, and completly ignoring the fact that I told him to get off. You know I was thinking about it and actually most of the guys I've slept with could potentially been classed as rape cuz I'm pretty sure about 50% of the guys I've slept with I've told to stop and they're just all like let me carry on for another couple mins and I'm kind of like seriously stop and they just completly ignore me and then before I know it they've blown their load and they're already zipping up and getting ready to leave.
You know what men really are little shits.
Aaron's actually told me to fuck off and not to text or ring him again cuz I wouldn't sleep with him. Now usually I would have sent him the arsiest text back like ever but in actual fact I stopped and I thought, do you know what I'm way too good for this guy who has bad breath, herpes on his face, is a right twat and isn't even realyl cute at all, I started thinking jesus my standards really have slipped! And that he isn't even worth a free text or one of my free minutes so I ignored it completly.
I'm through with men, they actually are all pricks.
Right and something that really gets me fucking fuming is this obsession guys have about girls being pretty!!!!!!!!!
Heres a conversation between me and Aaron...
Me: Why you so into me any ways I thought I was a whore!!
Aaron: Oh yeah but your beautiful so its kind of OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Please will someone tell me what the fuck the word pretty, beautiful, stunning, gorgeous etc means?
Does it mean you can sleep with 1000's of men and it doesn't matter, does it mean you can take loads of drugs, does it mean you can shop lift? Does it mean you can kill someone fuck sake.
Fuck this shit man, I am going out clubbing to show all the men in Brighton who I have slept with that they didn't get under my skin and that I am still going out woop woop fuck you men in Brighton men FUCKKKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
PEACE OUT LOVERS XXXXXXXXXX
I just want to say I'm not a vileont nutcase, I write this blog merley for myself to let off steam. Sometimes it can be really hard to keep it all locked up, I know what I write sometimes can be shocking, and subtelty was never my strong point!
Any how so met up with Aaron last night. My suspicions we're definitly conformed he's a right little prick. He kept trying (sorry not trying actually doing) putting his hand up my skirt, and completly ignoring the fact that I told him to get off. You know I was thinking about it and actually most of the guys I've slept with could potentially been classed as rape cuz I'm pretty sure about 50% of the guys I've slept with I've told to stop and they're just all like let me carry on for another couple mins and I'm kind of like seriously stop and they just completly ignore me and then before I know it they've blown their load and they're already zipping up and getting ready to leave.
You know what men really are little shits.
Aaron's actually told me to fuck off and not to text or ring him again cuz I wouldn't sleep with him. Now usually I would have sent him the arsiest text back like ever but in actual fact I stopped and I thought, do you know what I'm way too good for this guy who has bad breath, herpes on his face, is a right twat and isn't even realyl cute at all, I started thinking jesus my standards really have slipped! And that he isn't even worth a free text or one of my free minutes so I ignored it completly.
I'm through with men, they actually are all pricks.
Right and something that really gets me fucking fuming is this obsession guys have about girls being pretty!!!!!!!!!
Heres a conversation between me and Aaron...
Me: Why you so into me any ways I thought I was a whore!!
Aaron: Oh yeah but your beautiful so its kind of OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Please will someone tell me what the fuck the word pretty, beautiful, stunning, gorgeous etc means?
Does it mean you can sleep with 1000's of men and it doesn't matter, does it mean you can take loads of drugs, does it mean you can shop lift? Does it mean you can kill someone fuck sake.
Fuck this shit man, I am going out clubbing to show all the men in Brighton who I have slept with that they didn't get under my skin and that I am still going out woop woop fuck you men in Brighton men FUCKKKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
PEACE OUT LOVERS XXXXXXXXXX
Sunday, 26 June 2011
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me, don't let me out of your sight, I'm just a girl all pretty and petite, so don't let me have any rights...
Ah man don't you just love No Dobut...
Amazing song and lyrics.
Any how unfortunatly before I start todays topic, I must have a rant.
I don't think I've ever met a couple who row the way Becca and Iain do, it drives me fucking mad!! Not to mention that every time I watch some thing it gets insulted by Iain so and everything gets questioned it does my nut!!
Then I have to listen to them having make up sex, can I vomit yet???
I would say that that my rants over but it is far from over especially seeing as Iain is sitting behind me asking me questions about really stupid things conversation...
*listening to Taylor Swift*
Iain: Do you like Taylor Swift?
Me: (thinking in my head nahhh I just put it on cuz I hate it). Yes.
Iain: why do you like her?
Me: (thinking oh my God please shutup what sort of question is that anyhow).
*me can't take anymore, saves blog, gets up and leaves the room*!!
So todays topic is about cheating, and not just any sort of cheating, cheating in a relationship and yes it is wrong but not every case can be judged in the same way because yes cheating is cheating but there are many different circumstances and what I want to talk about is not the cheater, or the cheatee, but in actual fact the "Other woman" (I guess other man too but I deal with things from womans point of veiws not mens sorry guys).
So despite how much you may be thinking "the other woman" is a total bitch and what not, stop right there OK. I ain't trying to justify the other womans behavour, but she has feelings too and I know what your thinking why would she get involved with a married man/ a man in a relationship to begin with? Well for starters men are extremly good liars so it could be that she didn't know until she'd already fallen in love with him, or the simple fact of we can't always help who we fall for!! Whoever they are...
So yes it is really shit for the wife/girlfriend but think about the other woman, she gets all these broken promises and deep down knows that they're probabally not true and yet clings on to them and the longer the affair continues the more we get attached and then end up being clingier and clingier cuz we get to the point that we're so used to this crazy double life to lose it would be unbearable. (At least thats what we convince ourselves).
Don't think there isn't a single moment of a single day goes buy that the "other woman" doesn't feel so guilty and so dreadful that ending it seems like the only way out but the actual ending it is so much harder to put into practise than it is to say it!
The other woman who longs to be truely loved and cared for as herself!
Any how I'm not trying to justify anything but I think its important not to always look at things in a black and white narrow minded sort of way!
So I broke it, so much for lucky number 36, yes I slipped, I had sex, I ain't going to say with who cuz for once, its private but I question if it was a mistake? Well give me 3 months and I'll let you know...
So now on the hunt for lucky number 37, and jesus christ it better be lucky because otherwise I'm going to end up with sleeping as many people as last year... last year was ... about 11, and this year its 4 now, so as longas I don't sleep with another 7 peoples this year I am OK. To do that I'd have to be meeting quite a few men seeing as there are only another 6 months left in the year!!!
Any how I am a bit of a naughty girl tonight, I went out... came home... went out to meet me mate for a long walk... and now waiting for another guy to come pick me up and go out in Brighton for a bit... I am not a dirty stop out.. I'm just fed up with lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling feeling alone, and not being able to sleep, may as well go out right...
I was thinking when I got into bed last night about my life and stuff and I started to feel like I don't really fit in anywhere.. I hate that feeling but I've never really felt like I belong really. Maybe that is the potential bi polar. I felt really annoyed on the train on friday some girl got on the train and she sat on my table oppisite me and she was with her mate and I don't know what it was but like I got really annoyed with her. Like I think it was an attention thing. Like when I'm out on the Town if there's some girl thats out being quite loud, she's gotta go, it doesn't matter who she is or how nice she is, if she's stealing my lime light, shes gotta go!
I mean how fucked up is that...
Any how going out so catch ya later aligators..
Peace out
Love ya
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Amazing song and lyrics.
Any how unfortunatly before I start todays topic, I must have a rant.
I don't think I've ever met a couple who row the way Becca and Iain do, it drives me fucking mad!! Not to mention that every time I watch some thing it gets insulted by Iain so and everything gets questioned it does my nut!!
Then I have to listen to them having make up sex, can I vomit yet???
I would say that that my rants over but it is far from over especially seeing as Iain is sitting behind me asking me questions about really stupid things conversation...
*listening to Taylor Swift*
Iain: Do you like Taylor Swift?
Me: (thinking in my head nahhh I just put it on cuz I hate it). Yes.
Iain: why do you like her?
Me: (thinking oh my God please shutup what sort of question is that anyhow).
*me can't take anymore, saves blog, gets up and leaves the room*!!
So todays topic is about cheating, and not just any sort of cheating, cheating in a relationship and yes it is wrong but not every case can be judged in the same way because yes cheating is cheating but there are many different circumstances and what I want to talk about is not the cheater, or the cheatee, but in actual fact the "Other woman" (I guess other man too but I deal with things from womans point of veiws not mens sorry guys).
So despite how much you may be thinking "the other woman" is a total bitch and what not, stop right there OK. I ain't trying to justify the other womans behavour, but she has feelings too and I know what your thinking why would she get involved with a married man/ a man in a relationship to begin with? Well for starters men are extremly good liars so it could be that she didn't know until she'd already fallen in love with him, or the simple fact of we can't always help who we fall for!! Whoever they are...
So yes it is really shit for the wife/girlfriend but think about the other woman, she gets all these broken promises and deep down knows that they're probabally not true and yet clings on to them and the longer the affair continues the more we get attached and then end up being clingier and clingier cuz we get to the point that we're so used to this crazy double life to lose it would be unbearable. (At least thats what we convince ourselves).
Don't think there isn't a single moment of a single day goes buy that the "other woman" doesn't feel so guilty and so dreadful that ending it seems like the only way out but the actual ending it is so much harder to put into practise than it is to say it!
The other woman who longs to be truely loved and cared for as herself!
Any how I'm not trying to justify anything but I think its important not to always look at things in a black and white narrow minded sort of way!
So I broke it, so much for lucky number 36, yes I slipped, I had sex, I ain't going to say with who cuz for once, its private but I question if it was a mistake? Well give me 3 months and I'll let you know...
So now on the hunt for lucky number 37, and jesus christ it better be lucky because otherwise I'm going to end up with sleeping as many people as last year... last year was ... about 11, and this year its 4 now, so as longas I don't sleep with another 7 peoples this year I am OK. To do that I'd have to be meeting quite a few men seeing as there are only another 6 months left in the year!!!
Any how I am a bit of a naughty girl tonight, I went out... came home... went out to meet me mate for a long walk... and now waiting for another guy to come pick me up and go out in Brighton for a bit... I am not a dirty stop out.. I'm just fed up with lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling feeling alone, and not being able to sleep, may as well go out right...
I was thinking when I got into bed last night about my life and stuff and I started to feel like I don't really fit in anywhere.. I hate that feeling but I've never really felt like I belong really. Maybe that is the potential bi polar. I felt really annoyed on the train on friday some girl got on the train and she sat on my table oppisite me and she was with her mate and I don't know what it was but like I got really annoyed with her. Like I think it was an attention thing. Like when I'm out on the Town if there's some girl thats out being quite loud, she's gotta go, it doesn't matter who she is or how nice she is, if she's stealing my lime light, shes gotta go!
I mean how fucked up is that...
Any how going out so catch ya later aligators..
Peace out
Love ya
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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