Or however the fuck you say it in French!
I'm feeling really tired and negative today and I hate feeling like that. Stuck in a ruck.
I'm over Jax- obviously seeing as my laptop has decided to give up on life altogether, I'm starting to feel like I might follow in it's foot steps :(. (Don't worry I'm not a bout to have another suicide attempt the absolutely crazy Elle has gone. Left her behind along with all the shit from 2010).
I just really need to sort a few things out and I think like once I start doing some volunteer work or courses then maybe I won't feel so low! I know that deep down it's because I'm desperate for a guy but I'm not a bout to jeprodise my hopeful looking future for another good for nothing prick!
Whats the point I know what I'm looking for and I do believe in fate, and soul mates and I know for a fact I'm not a bout to bump into my dream man in a bar or a club.
He may not even be English, English men have such little passion, and it's all a bout drugs and drink and stupid football. Well I hate football with a passion! So that's that.
I want to be with someone that's different and maybe he makes a difference to the world or something. I don't know but what I do know is that I'm not a bout to settle for 2nd best and I don' t care what people say, I refuse to go out with any more twats until I find my soul mate, whats the point, I've dated and slept with more than enough men!
However hard it may be (especially being surrounded by lo-vie do-vie couples everywhere I go),
I'm not going to just date anymore for the sake of having a man in my life and not being alone!
I'd rather be lonely and single than be with someone that 80% of the time does my nut so that's that!
Blurgh I'm fed up!
Peace out my followers!
xxxx
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Friday, 7 January 2011
Mood= Moody!
God I'm beginning to feel shit today, not sure if it's cuz every one around seems to be getting sex and I'm not even allowed to indulge in self pleasure at the moment. I've only got 10 days left but it's just starting to do my head in now. Not because I'm not allowed to have sex, I'm not even interested in that at the moment. I don't even know if I can be bothered to go on a date, unless I actually thought they had a brain and aren't only interested in shagging me and getting off their face on booze and drugs!!!
Why can't it be more straight forward I do want my recovery badly, but I did get a bit annoyed today cuz me sponsor wants me to start going to AA meetings again and I don't want to, I've agreed to go to one on Tuesday to get the 12 and 12 book, but the idea of going back to AA brings dread over me. AA is not good for me, I only end up going in there in the end to check out guys and I know that from the very last meeting I did, Towards the end before I stopped going I was only going to check out guys and when I'm trying to recover as a sex and love addict I know it'll end with me slipping. Not to mention I really don't want to see Wayne and if I start going to AA meetings again I know I'll bump into him sooner or later.
Need a fag will continue later ....
Right been watching the soaps got a little distracted!
I'm not particularly happy that the bank are sending me hate mail through the post either God damn it, I wish they would just fuck off and die!
I want Tom to come back from Oz and to ring me and confess his undying love for me, like that'll ever happen!
God damn it I'm annoyed I'm going!
I know I have been slack with updating, I'll try and update more regularly!
Peace out!
xx
Why can't it be more straight forward I do want my recovery badly, but I did get a bit annoyed today cuz me sponsor wants me to start going to AA meetings again and I don't want to, I've agreed to go to one on Tuesday to get the 12 and 12 book, but the idea of going back to AA brings dread over me. AA is not good for me, I only end up going in there in the end to check out guys and I know that from the very last meeting I did, Towards the end before I stopped going I was only going to check out guys and when I'm trying to recover as a sex and love addict I know it'll end with me slipping. Not to mention I really don't want to see Wayne and if I start going to AA meetings again I know I'll bump into him sooner or later.
Need a fag will continue later ....
Right been watching the soaps got a little distracted!
I'm not particularly happy that the bank are sending me hate mail through the post either God damn it, I wish they would just fuck off and die!
I want Tom to come back from Oz and to ring me and confess his undying love for me, like that'll ever happen!
God damn it I'm annoyed I'm going!
I know I have been slack with updating, I'll try and update more regularly!
Peace out!
xx
Friday, 31 December 2010
The very last day in the most fucking fabulous year so far!!
For any of you who didn't get that yes I was being sarcastic!
So here I am sitting in Jacqui's front room and giving all my fabulous fans an update of the fabulous life of yours truly.
So I survived Christmas with the family (only just mind you).
Seriously am in need of a great big joint before I go any more crazier than I already am (although I do think that may be slightly impossible).
Nicks left for his travels, and Jacqui is walking around in a fog as if it's the end of the world, I love the fact that I am not the only drama queen in the family.
Although apparently I'm the selfish one, well as much as I do feel for her at least she's got a man, what have I got apart from silly little good for nothing boys texting me and severely irritating the fuck out of me.
Hey whats happened to the font, God damn fucking computers I did not tell it to change the font once again technology trying to piss me off again.
I cannot believe it has been almost 5 weeks since I have had any type of sexual contact with a man, I'm going slightly insane, although I am trying to stick to my sex and love addicts programme I'm just praying my 30 days are almost over so I can change my bottom lines and at least get my good old vibrators out I am in serious need of an orgasm its no wonder I'm grumpy all the time, never mind only a few weeks left now.
I have to be honest though, it does work, I've started to have a new found respect for myself and I'm not settling for any one who just wants to get into my pants. I'm looking for more than that cuz I can see that I am worth more than that!
Turns out Chris (yes the twat that was supposedly my ex, although more like a big mistake would be slightly more appropriate), he only went and got the girl who he left me for pregnant and now has left her and is planning another suicide attempt. Pathetic! What a twat actually that's just plain cuntish hey ho I'm well done with him and his bent knob, if I wanted to make love to a banana I'd go to the supermarket and buy one, at least it wouldn't answer back and I'd be guaranteed to orgasm! Although sounds kind of messy so I think I'll just stick to me toys. majorly need to buy some more, 2 just isn't enough any more.
Any how I'll be sure to fill you in on some more exciting news providing my life does get more exciting, it hasn't been this dull... well EVER! Mann this is so shit!
Well HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR! 2010 can kiss my ass cuz I'm done with it, roll on 2011 and I'll show ya how it's really done, no more mingers, no more druggies, no more alcoholics, no more crap shags and lots of nice good looking fit men with nice bodies and good jobs and who kiss the ground I walk on, I know he's out there and he's been looking in all the wrong places but he'll find me, you'll see!
Oh and in the mean time I think I'll concentrate on doing a hair and beauty course combined with a sex shop!
Good plan!
Peace out my faithful followers
Love love love
Princess Elle
xxxx
So here I am sitting in Jacqui's front room and giving all my fabulous fans an update of the fabulous life of yours truly.
So I survived Christmas with the family (only just mind you).
Seriously am in need of a great big joint before I go any more crazier than I already am (although I do think that may be slightly impossible).
Nicks left for his travels, and Jacqui is walking around in a fog as if it's the end of the world, I love the fact that I am not the only drama queen in the family.
Although apparently I'm the selfish one, well as much as I do feel for her at least she's got a man, what have I got apart from silly little good for nothing boys texting me and severely irritating the fuck out of me.
Hey whats happened to the font, God damn fucking computers I did not tell it to change the font once again technology trying to piss me off again.
I cannot believe it has been almost 5 weeks since I have had any type of sexual contact with a man, I'm going slightly insane, although I am trying to stick to my sex and love addicts programme I'm just praying my 30 days are almost over so I can change my bottom lines and at least get my good old vibrators out I am in serious need of an orgasm its no wonder I'm grumpy all the time, never mind only a few weeks left now.
I have to be honest though, it does work, I've started to have a new found respect for myself and I'm not settling for any one who just wants to get into my pants. I'm looking for more than that cuz I can see that I am worth more than that!
Turns out Chris (yes the twat that was supposedly my ex, although more like a big mistake would be slightly more appropriate), he only went and got the girl who he left me for pregnant and now has left her and is planning another suicide attempt. Pathetic! What a twat actually that's just plain cuntish hey ho I'm well done with him and his bent knob, if I wanted to make love to a banana I'd go to the supermarket and buy one, at least it wouldn't answer back and I'd be guaranteed to orgasm! Although sounds kind of messy so I think I'll just stick to me toys. majorly need to buy some more, 2 just isn't enough any more.
Any how I'll be sure to fill you in on some more exciting news providing my life does get more exciting, it hasn't been this dull... well EVER! Mann this is so shit!
Well HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR! 2010 can kiss my ass cuz I'm done with it, roll on 2011 and I'll show ya how it's really done, no more mingers, no more druggies, no more alcoholics, no more crap shags and lots of nice good looking fit men with nice bodies and good jobs and who kiss the ground I walk on, I know he's out there and he's been looking in all the wrong places but he'll find me, you'll see!
Oh and in the mean time I think I'll concentrate on doing a hair and beauty course combined with a sex shop!
Good plan!
Peace out my faithful followers
Love love love
Princess Elle
xxxx
Monday, 20 December 2010
Day 3 of me 30 days
Well well, I'm on day 3 of me 3 days and I'm doing OK.
Can't believe there's only 4 days till Christmas eve, I'm starting to wonder where the year has gone, but under the circumstance that's a pretty stupid question, it's gone on a lot of stupid guys, a lot of gone wrong tragic relationships, being sectioned, losing jobs, moving house, stupid amounts of overdoses, going out partying and a hell of a lot of arguing, time to set some new rules for next year...
1) Do not attempt to commit suicide no matter how bad things get.
2) Do not jump into bed with idiots.
3) Do not get fired.
4) Do not argue, simply walk away.
5) Do not keep moving house.
6) Do not speak to weird homeless people.
7) STAY AWAY FROM ADDICTS!!
Well that's a start isn't it.
I'd rather be on my own than go out with another dickhead.
I'm restless, I'm unbelievably fed up with this stupid weather it is ruining my life, seriously I cannot physically wear heels in this ice (and no parading around the house in heels doesn't count).
Any how on another note I'm trying not to be so damn negative so I should look at the good things from this year, I moved house away from all the drama that was making my life hell. I made up with me sister after 2 years of no contact.
I made new mates, and got out of jobs that I sincerely hated!!
Hm I'll write again soon I think, should be getting a new laptop soonish when I actually get a decent amount on a check come through the post.
Wish me luck I already have a pack of 40 ciggies to get me through the 2 dreaded days of Christmas with my absolutely amazing family (Xmas eve & Xmas Day). Hmmm how long will they last with my darling mother and my even more darling 2nd mother (Becca). This is going to be so much fun! (NOT).
Any how I am off to my home now oh and one last thing please remind me to make a trip next year to be away for Xmas somewhere hot with someone nice away from my so called family!!
Peace out
love love love
xx
Can't believe there's only 4 days till Christmas eve, I'm starting to wonder where the year has gone, but under the circumstance that's a pretty stupid question, it's gone on a lot of stupid guys, a lot of gone wrong tragic relationships, being sectioned, losing jobs, moving house, stupid amounts of overdoses, going out partying and a hell of a lot of arguing, time to set some new rules for next year...
1) Do not attempt to commit suicide no matter how bad things get.
2) Do not jump into bed with idiots.
3) Do not get fired.
4) Do not argue, simply walk away.
5) Do not keep moving house.
6) Do not speak to weird homeless people.
7) STAY AWAY FROM ADDICTS!!
Well that's a start isn't it.
I'd rather be on my own than go out with another dickhead.
I'm restless, I'm unbelievably fed up with this stupid weather it is ruining my life, seriously I cannot physically wear heels in this ice (and no parading around the house in heels doesn't count).
Any how on another note I'm trying not to be so damn negative so I should look at the good things from this year, I moved house away from all the drama that was making my life hell. I made up with me sister after 2 years of no contact.
I made new mates, and got out of jobs that I sincerely hated!!
Hm I'll write again soon I think, should be getting a new laptop soonish when I actually get a decent amount on a check come through the post.
Wish me luck I already have a pack of 40 ciggies to get me through the 2 dreaded days of Christmas with my absolutely amazing family (Xmas eve & Xmas Day). Hmmm how long will they last with my darling mother and my even more darling 2nd mother (Becca). This is going to be so much fun! (NOT).
Any how I am off to my home now oh and one last thing please remind me to make a trip next year to be away for Xmas somewhere hot with someone nice away from my so called family!!
Peace out
love love love
xx
Sunday, 12 December 2010
The world and their wankers.
I am officially pissed off! What is this piss Elle off week!!??
Seriously right I cannot stand banks all I wanted was one fucking pin number so I can use my stupid credit card and they're all like oh we got the wrong address or something and then put me on hold for ages so eventually I hung up and rung back hoping to speak to someone who can actually understand English (no such luck)! So after speaking to four different people they finally said that the pin number would be with me latest on Wednesday!
Why it took 4 people to send one four digit pin number and to write my correct address is beyond me, but hey that sums up banks for ya!
Oh yes and how could I forget I bumped into that prick that I went out with yesterday and today God I swear he's stalking me now! Why can't he just FUCK OFF! Thank God I am going to be gone in 3 days I hope I never see his fucking fucked up face again ARGHHHHHHHHHH! Oh don't worry I blanked him, as much as I would take pleasure in fucking up his fucked up face even more I wouldn't and will not give him the satisfaction of letting him see how much he got under my skin!! ARGHHHHHHHH what a CUNT!
Actually speaking of men right they're all a bunch of cunts and sleazy pathetic idiots, and fuck me I'm gagging for a shag, it seems to be the only thing that makes me stop feeling angry, and I start my 30 days in 3 days which means no sex, no relationships, no kissing, no flirting, no communication with a member of the opposite sex and that includes phone calls too and I'm not even allowed to indulge in self pleasure, I know I've got to do this to get better but God it feels so tough!
Right another thing adverts saying "21 and still single" FUCK OFF! Is that meant to be some sort of joke, 21 years old for fuck sake it's a joke, it really is! Can I just say if 21's meant to be old these days what the fuck to woman in their 30's who are still single feel like?
Give us a fucking break OK the media seriously do my fucking head in! It does not mean that if you haven't had kids by the time your 25 that your a freak it means you want a life or a career or maybe you just don't want kids!
I am so unbelievably fed up of being dictated by from the media, or the government or any one else that thinks they know better, please do me a favor and nicely FUCK OFF!
Richy is a CUNT please remind me to put Rich and Ritchy on the list of names of men that I do need sleep with or date!
I'm officially running out of names here, I'm going to end up marrying someone called Ziggy or something else like Quentin cuz I'm getting through names like there's no tomo oh for fuck sake I've had enough I am going to indulge myself in my milk Terrys chocolate orange (whats left of it) and another thing, it ain't Terry's it ain't Dawn French's it's mine ha ha so go FUCK YASELF!
Fuck out
fuck fuck fuck
xxx
Seriously right I cannot stand banks all I wanted was one fucking pin number so I can use my stupid credit card and they're all like oh we got the wrong address or something and then put me on hold for ages so eventually I hung up and rung back hoping to speak to someone who can actually understand English (no such luck)! So after speaking to four different people they finally said that the pin number would be with me latest on Wednesday!
Why it took 4 people to send one four digit pin number and to write my correct address is beyond me, but hey that sums up banks for ya!
Oh yes and how could I forget I bumped into that prick that I went out with yesterday and today God I swear he's stalking me now! Why can't he just FUCK OFF! Thank God I am going to be gone in 3 days I hope I never see his fucking fucked up face again ARGHHHHHHHHHH! Oh don't worry I blanked him, as much as I would take pleasure in fucking up his fucked up face even more I wouldn't and will not give him the satisfaction of letting him see how much he got under my skin!! ARGHHHHHHHH what a CUNT!
Actually speaking of men right they're all a bunch of cunts and sleazy pathetic idiots, and fuck me I'm gagging for a shag, it seems to be the only thing that makes me stop feeling angry, and I start my 30 days in 3 days which means no sex, no relationships, no kissing, no flirting, no communication with a member of the opposite sex and that includes phone calls too and I'm not even allowed to indulge in self pleasure, I know I've got to do this to get better but God it feels so tough!
Right another thing adverts saying "21 and still single" FUCK OFF! Is that meant to be some sort of joke, 21 years old for fuck sake it's a joke, it really is! Can I just say if 21's meant to be old these days what the fuck to woman in their 30's who are still single feel like?
Give us a fucking break OK the media seriously do my fucking head in! It does not mean that if you haven't had kids by the time your 25 that your a freak it means you want a life or a career or maybe you just don't want kids!
I am so unbelievably fed up of being dictated by from the media, or the government or any one else that thinks they know better, please do me a favor and nicely FUCK OFF!
Richy is a CUNT please remind me to put Rich and Ritchy on the list of names of men that I do need sleep with or date!
I'm officially running out of names here, I'm going to end up marrying someone called Ziggy or something else like Quentin cuz I'm getting through names like there's no tomo oh for fuck sake I've had enough I am going to indulge myself in my milk Terrys chocolate orange (whats left of it) and another thing, it ain't Terry's it ain't Dawn French's it's mine ha ha so go FUCK YASELF!
Fuck out
fuck fuck fuck
xxx
Thursday, 9 December 2010
When the going gets tough the tough gets going...
I honestly don't know where to begin!
I'm in a slump of depression actually. I guess I'm just fed up with men treating me like shit. When will I just meet someone who likes me for me and who's nice to me??
I've been ridiculously busy and me being me doing my usual of avoiding things I have only started packing today and I've run out of fucking brown tape too so that involves me actually leaving the house tomo (oh happy days).
Start my 30 days in 4 days, 30 days without any sexual contact with a man, no sex with a men, no kissing, no flirting, no dating, just nothing accept complete detox. I think this is going to be one of the hardest thing I'll ever have to do but I need a healthy relationship and I want one... hmm in fact I crave one, I'm just completely exhausted.
I keep getting continuous calls from girls that are going out with Ian, or some other little prick and it's beginning to do my head in! Why can't people just leave me the fuck alone, I'm in the middle of moving house I am so God damn stressed!
Any how I've got far too much to do thinking a bout other peoples girlfriends ringing me is the least of my worries.
I'm packing all day tomo it's dull but it has to be done. God I can't fucking wait to move, seriously like it'll be so nice to go out again without feeling insecure, paranoid, vulnerable and scared. Bullies one thing I cannot stand in life. Along with violence and confrontation!
So Wednesday me and Rob are bigging it up in Landan baby and I have to say I am extremely disappointed the fashion industry is having a midlife crises, I was mooching a bout and the clothes all look half finished, seriously I could have made a bin bag look better then some of things on sale.
So there we have it 1st the fashion industry falls a part and slowly whats next?? After all we are in the middle of rescission.
Ok I physically can not keep me eyes open my bed is officially calling me! xx
I'm in a slump of depression actually. I guess I'm just fed up with men treating me like shit. When will I just meet someone who likes me for me and who's nice to me??
I've been ridiculously busy and me being me doing my usual of avoiding things I have only started packing today and I've run out of fucking brown tape too so that involves me actually leaving the house tomo (oh happy days).
Start my 30 days in 4 days, 30 days without any sexual contact with a man, no sex with a men, no kissing, no flirting, no dating, just nothing accept complete detox. I think this is going to be one of the hardest thing I'll ever have to do but I need a healthy relationship and I want one... hmm in fact I crave one, I'm just completely exhausted.
I keep getting continuous calls from girls that are going out with Ian, or some other little prick and it's beginning to do my head in! Why can't people just leave me the fuck alone, I'm in the middle of moving house I am so God damn stressed!
Any how I've got far too much to do thinking a bout other peoples girlfriends ringing me is the least of my worries.
I'm packing all day tomo it's dull but it has to be done. God I can't fucking wait to move, seriously like it'll be so nice to go out again without feeling insecure, paranoid, vulnerable and scared. Bullies one thing I cannot stand in life. Along with violence and confrontation!
So Wednesday me and Rob are bigging it up in Landan baby and I have to say I am extremely disappointed the fashion industry is having a midlife crises, I was mooching a bout and the clothes all look half finished, seriously I could have made a bin bag look better then some of things on sale.
So there we have it 1st the fashion industry falls a part and slowly whats next?? After all we are in the middle of rescission.
Ok I physically can not keep me eyes open my bed is officially calling me! xx
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Back home..
So here I am back home from London, in bed half watching the holiday, although it hasn't got to the best bit yet (when Jude Law appears).
London was a bit of a drama but it's over now and it is official my family are nuts.
I'm not particularly happy with my so called sister bex who woke me up at 11.30am and then came down stairs demanding I be ready in 40 minutes.
Banging on the bathroom door whilst I'm trying to wash my fucking hair telling me to hurry up. Then standing over me in the bedroom whilst I'm trying to get ready telling me I've got 20 minutes and then shouting at me for doing my makeup and when eventually I get slightly pissed off and tell her to fuck off she gets a massive hump and tells me to go and throw myself under a bus which isn't exactly very nice considering I only got out of hospital last week for trying to top myself.
All because she needed to see Iain cuz she hadn't seen him for a week.
Fuck sake does my head in it's a week she should count herself lucky it isn't like they're separated by war or something and they hadn't seen each other for years.
Mind you that is Becca for you irrational and controlling! (Especially when it comes to Iain).
Actually she's been doing my head in all weekend shouting at me in Sainsbury's a bout buying inappropriate cereal I swear she still thinks I'm a bout 12 or something!
I've got far more to contribute to this blog but I think I really should get some beauty sleep so I will update you on my fabulous thoughts tomo!!
xx
London was a bit of a drama but it's over now and it is official my family are nuts.
I'm not particularly happy with my so called sister bex who woke me up at 11.30am and then came down stairs demanding I be ready in 40 minutes.
Banging on the bathroom door whilst I'm trying to wash my fucking hair telling me to hurry up. Then standing over me in the bedroom whilst I'm trying to get ready telling me I've got 20 minutes and then shouting at me for doing my makeup and when eventually I get slightly pissed off and tell her to fuck off she gets a massive hump and tells me to go and throw myself under a bus which isn't exactly very nice considering I only got out of hospital last week for trying to top myself.
All because she needed to see Iain cuz she hadn't seen him for a week.
Fuck sake does my head in it's a week she should count herself lucky it isn't like they're separated by war or something and they hadn't seen each other for years.
Mind you that is Becca for you irrational and controlling! (Especially when it comes to Iain).
Actually she's been doing my head in all weekend shouting at me in Sainsbury's a bout buying inappropriate cereal I swear she still thinks I'm a bout 12 or something!
I've got far more to contribute to this blog but I think I really should get some beauty sleep so I will update you on my fabulous thoughts tomo!!
xx
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