Thursday, 11 November 2010

The early hours of friday! Learning to be strong!

So it's 4am and I just got in from clubbing.
Well most people who go clubbing would probably just go home to sleep but hey I'm not most people and I'm not pissed obviously!
So here I am day 2 of no sex! Day 1 of not having seen Chris.
It isn't easy but I did what I wanted to do today, I bought some beads and stuff and started making my jewelery, then I started my Monet drawing and started my 2nd painting.
I met up with Tom and his mates for drinks then went to Oceania clubbing with Emma and Ellie.
Tom decided to come there too a bit later which I knew wouldn't be a good idea.
He was clearly really drunk and he was just being a bit of a dick.
However I took the high ground I had 2 options I could have stood there and had a massive row with him and cause a massive drama and probably end up getting kicked out or walk away and go and dance with me mates and have fun! You know that's exactly what I did.
I walked away!
I'm through with all the bullshit.
I think slowly I'm beginning to believe that I am better than this and I don't deserve to be treated like shit!
So you want to know a bout the Chris situation...
Well I wish I could say I hadn't spoke to him but I had. In fact I thought it was a bout time he knew what it was like to be left waiting! So I rung him and said I was going to come over (even though I had no intention of doing so).
So I rung him when I left me pad to go meet Tom and the boys to say I was on me way and that I'd be there in 10 mins or so.
Well I never got a call or a text (mind you I have blocked his number). So I went out with him sitting at home thinking I was going to go round. Bullshit.
See 2 can play at that game.
I'm not going back to Chris I'm not sure how many times I've said that but this time I mean it.
I know the more time that goes by the easier it'll get.
At the moment it feels so hard cuz it's only been like 1 day without seeing him but I'm determined to get better!

Ellie and her ex boyfriend of 2 years was having plenty of dramas in the club and I suppose it's weird to think that to other people that's how my dramas probably come across, it's weird because very rarely is there a drama that I'm not involved in and tonight there was and it felt good for it not to be one of mine!

My new productive optimistic outlook in life (well not quite but I'll get there in time).
I know that there's still so much shit I gotta do but tell you what I'll stop at nothing, I will get there!
Peace out.
Love love love

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