God it is soooooo shit being ill! It was sort of inevitable I have used and abused my body so much in the last couple of months I'm lucky that I haven't got anything till now.
I just hate the fact that being ill means you have to stop, you can't keep running around all over the place like a crazy person. Not to mention when I stop I crash.
It's like if i stop to take a breath everything hits me!
All the shit that's happened over the last few months hits me and I can't cope.
I just feel so alone and I know I've got great mates and stuff but when I'm ill I'm just home alone and I'm never allowed any one round because me flat mate hates every one and doesn't like me having people round so even tho I'm ill I'm going to have to go out! Happy days!
God I can't wait to move out of Hove I hate living here.
Not to mention I've got to write a letter to me dad and I'm dreading it.
God I really do hate my fucking life, I wish so much I had to guts to end it all.
Just the idea of making it through tomo makes me feel exhausted I just feel like I don't want to have to carry on everything's just too much!
I can't function at the moment so maybe I'll just leave it there for now and just write again when I don't feel so much like death!!!
peace xx
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